tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123377870638535996.post7426454597028463832..comments2023-10-20T05:59:38.345-07:00Comments on Middle Class Concerns: I do!Phakamanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16817513290578611729noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123377870638535996.post-31313998692185015562011-03-23T01:21:32.704-07:002011-03-23T01:21:32.704-07:00Dear Truth be Told, thank you for your interest an...Dear Truth be Told, thank you for your interest and comment. <br /><br />I was trying to move away from the patriarchal debate hence my focus on family integration and respect. The pleasure of being educated and living in a relatively democratic society is that we are able to define and change cultural norms.<br /><br />Firstly, to define lobola as proof that a man can support you is a step back into the 1960's. The role of women has changed- we are homemakers as well as career leaders and I think tradition acknowledges these changes. <br /><br />Secondly, as mentioned in the post "More likely than not, the money agreed upon will go towards assisting the couple in establishing a new life with a positive bank balance". This includes the traditional and church wedding. If the brides’ parents keep the money for renovations on their house- it's really a concern about the parents than it is about the custom itself.<br /><br />Thirdly, unless you’re from a monarchy of some sort, you are not obligated to invite every distant relative and acquaintance you've met since your birth. I have many issues with the institution of marriage and the falsity surrounding the wedding but your traditional wedding could be a lunch with close family and friends and your church wedding could have 30 guests (I support that).<br /><br />“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.” -Harold WilsonPhakamanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16817513290578611729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123377870638535996.post-61772343513825655732011-03-22T21:02:11.142-07:002011-03-22T21:02:11.142-07:00Got a bit of a concern to raise with the idea that...Got a bit of a concern to raise with the idea that lobola is to prove that the husband CAN afford to take care of his wife. Had this talk with some of the fellas over a few breweskies this weekend. I'm no expert in exactly how much a cow costs but for arguments say let us assume its a grand for each. That means for 10 cows we got 10grand down just for lobola. Then, unlike a funeral, the couple still has to make provisions for the "2" weddings at the grooms and brides village, and feed people they have never even met. Lets say after all this strain the two newlyweds dont have jack, lets forget the honeymoon, the house, the furniture etc. This is the reason why most marriages go to the pits. You start a marriage broke and spend the next few years trying to make ends meet. Slowly but surely all this stress causes tension between the couple and things go south. ...and this poor fellow; no money back policy. Kinda sad when you think about it. Guess we are just designed to floss by nature but I swear; 1 church wedding, 30 people invited, I pick my lobola and your daughter will be happy and provided for, FOR LIFE... If I'm wrong lemme know.truthbetoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05358313990565902047noreply@blogger.com